Today is sad, I'm sad...…………..or is it that 'today' was only 'sad' from mid-afternoon on? Is it just because there was no sunshine today? "Today" in quotes because, hey, how can I generalize the whole day for fuck sakes! A whole day has a lot of hours for being 'sad', maybe it wasn't the whole day. That seems obvious, but, I am trying to teach my child and myself a more positive way of looking at our days. Like, how much of the day sucked and how much of the day was actually okay or pretty good? One part sucky and 9 parts relatively okay?
----Don't get all excited now! "Relatively" okay? I think my 'depression' can't conscientiously 'splurge' on gratuitous exuberance about 'something', anything--a knock on wood superstition, a 'that' which shall not be named kind of superstition---if I pretend it's not there, it doesn't exist, then it can't be erased, it can't be worse---the universe won't knock me down if I pretend I'm already too low to be knocked down. WTF. So, let me get this straight.....if I live life out loud, I'm just asking for the universe to take me down a peg just because that's the rule of the universe? What universe would act like that? Not a universe of love. Not a 'God' of love. Yes, I am sad! Twisted!
So.... I often feel like a TOTAL ALIEN. And I mean, NOT an EARTHLING. And, that I MISREAD the "Earthling Customs Handbook" which self-destructs after being read so that no Earthling gets its hands on it and realizes that there are Aliens on Earth...…..but it really means that if you're not a perfect Alien, not a superhero Alien, that you're a fallible Alien (where are we going with this?)---!!!! It means you can't go back and re-read a section because some earthling gave you a 'confused' look when you did something or said something you thought you were doing correctly as per the handbook! Now I'll never know...because I don't have the fucking handbook anymore! Stupid security measures!
Take texting. On mobile phones--those little thin boxes earthlings carry about everywhere now which wasn't a thing, only 20 years ago on Earth! So, yeah, texting.....it's a new way of communicating but it's still communicating between "humans" like we've been doing for 'ages'---which is still governed by polite protocols of behaviour between "conversants" (defn: those fellow beings one is having a conversation with. New word? Patent Pending), handed down through the times...….rudimentary human times to sophisticated (arguable) human times.
What I mean, is, there's some fucking ETIQUETTE to this texting shit, y'all!! Let's get 'real' into it, like, when someone texts you, it seems like common courtesy to reply!! And I don't mean like, reply immediately, but, come on! What is the acceptable time frame??? I think it's somewhere between a couple hours later or the next day (and longer, actually, except then you have to have a really good reason, like you were on vacation and didn't take your phone/no signal---or someone died---that's it. A Really Good Reason). I accept the next day as (who died and made you queen) a valid maximum time value because (in no particular order!):
1. Not everyone is glued to their phone
2. Might have drunk too much, smoked too much, had sex too much; you, know, whatever distracts you in life for hours on end) (Me? Painting, swimming, gardening, dancing...and wine...)
3. Might be sad, reclusive, ill, getting yelled at by your boss or asshole co-worker, or whatever---FUCK my phone and whoever is texting!
But wait! There's more! These next ones could be categorized as acceptable reasons for an ASSHOLE, FUCKWAD, DICKHEAD and definitely NOT a 'friend' (even in the BROADEST definition of that word!) to go BEYOND the next day (in perhaps some order at some point):
4. You're not interested in this person and you don't have the guts to be honest so you decide to ignore them and hope they go away when they realize the 'unspoken' meaning behind your silence. FUCKING ASSHOLES, no that means, YOU, who ignore!
Unspoken: defn': a) don't like you
b) don't like your kid
c) wish I'd never given you my number!
5. You're a fucking insensitive boor who knows nothing about COMMON COURTESY. Look it up. Were you born in a barn? Who the fuck were your parents??? Why is it always about you? Narcissists.
Wow, I thought that list was going to be longer, but no, it's good. Does this mean I'm getting OLD? I shouldn't expect anyone younger than me to know COMMON RULES OF ETIQUETTE?? That makes me old? Or does it mean future generations' intelligence is on a fast track decline?? You feel me? Yeah, those old fogies might have had something---trying to shout across time to future and future and future generations, passing the baton, trying to warn us that the more we discard universal truths from the past (retold and re-worded but still the same message), the more we will lose our humanity!
Universal truths like:
Love; brotherly, motherly, community, helping each other, helping strangers, ending war, ending hate, being in the moment, taking care of our planet, loving what we have and who we love.
Actually, that's it. Love IS the universal truth. (is she high or what?! nudge, nudge...)
And a raspberry for YOU!
Well, okay, here is HOW love is all that.....because if we could really love each other and ourselves and love this planet....then we couldn't treat another person, plant, animal (in no particular order) in any other way then how we would want to be treated ourselves.
Par example: As per, texting, you wouldn't ignore someone's text if you had empathy for that person (unless it's a stalker, that's right out). (Even if they ARE crazy!) Everything we 'touch' (cross paths with) in life, we affect, we change, we alter it. So do good, because its 'easier' on ourselves, on our psyches, on our cells. Sometimes I think I'm trying to convince myself. (knocks on glass: 'hello? are you in there?')
And 'love' and 'empathy' don't have to mean all 'huggy' 'feely"---just that, that other person is just a person who deserves to be treated fairly and honestly. That to me is about love and empathy---care for others as you would care for yourself; take care of your home/planet as you would care for your body. MACRO/MICRO omg, how do I keep doing that? and why? yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so many questions!!!??!!
BE FUCKING CONSIDERATE, FOR FUCKS'SAKE!!!!!
Is that too much to fucking ask???
Seriously! "Did IQs suddenly drop, while I was away?" I'm not perfect. I'm still learning. But in the not-so-exact words of a wise word-prophet, "Let's not nail someone to a cross for saying, 'Wouldn't it be nice if we were all just nicer to each other?'" AGAIN!
Right, so, ALIEN. I feel like that every time I 'let' other people know how I would like to be treated and they react like I'm some fucking crazy person. I feel like that, every time I EXPECT people to react a certain way to the truth I have told them of MY Truth, and they react in an extremely negative way to me. Am I too sensitive? Did I just "empath" that situation?
Empath: defn: v., as in, to "empath" a situation = 'read' the other people before I have actually been told what they are thinking and so skip a crucial step or steps in communication, jump forward to the next subject and sound like a crazy person 'cause I just said something from out of nowhere (it seems, except, I haven't really got it from nowhere, only they don't know that).
ALIEN. Like I said. Or fucking crazy. Either way.
Can't see the trees for the wood? Or, can't see the wood for the trees? Yin/Yang (dunt, dunt, duhhhh! ominous deep piano chords play...)
Love, peace out. Be kind. Be. I am so fucking funny!! hmpff. :)
